


Not dreaming

by ReleasingTheKrakenIsMyFetish



Series: Ree [37]
Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Crying, F/M, Fanfiction, Feels, Fever Dreams, Friendship/Love, Long Shot, Love, Multi, Reunions, Serious Injuries, Talking, To Be Continued, True Love, who's cutting onions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-06
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2019-03-27 19:32:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13887648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReleasingTheKrakenIsMyFetish/pseuds/ReleasingTheKrakenIsMyFetish
Summary: Ree is seriously ill. In her feverish dreams she's visited by her beloved friends or horrible nightmares, and she can't tell what's real and what's not... 2nd Long shot of Ree & Hancock (And Valentine).





	Not dreaming

Me being walked to somewhere. Sunlight. Male voices right next to me. They're joined with several others, males and females. I can't understand them, but some of them sound worried about something. They argue. The sunlight vanishes, and I'm taken somewhere inside.

I can't distinguish dreams and reality. I can somewhat tell when I pass out, but there's no clear line of dreaming or being awake. I sweat a lot, and someone wipes it off. I think at some point I see an IV attached to my arm, but then it becomes a giant wasp and I'm trying to fight it. I'm being pushed back to the bed and held down. I hear a female voice telling me to calm down, and for a moment I can see Holly trying to comfort me. My dear friend Holly, who helped me survive in this world when I first woke up in it.

However, her face vanishes and then it's someone I don't know. An older woman with sharp eyes and reddish hair. She wears a newsboy cap and grunts something at me. Then she's gone, too.

I slip in and out of the consciousness. The dreams are mostly nightmares caused by the fever, but every now and then I get to dream peacefully. In those dreams I get visits from Holly, Magnolia, my dad, and of course Hancock and Valentine. Short as the dreams are, I always feel the ache in my heart when I realize they weren't really there.

It's one of those dreams again. I was laying in my bed, in my own bed before the war. I had rented a small flat which was only a short commute from the university I was studying in. Mom was already dead, and I hadn't seen my dad in a long while.

It had to be a Saturday morning, since I wasn't in a hurry to leave for school. I just laid there with my eyes closed, when a hand curled on top of my own.

”Hey, kiddo”, a familiar voice said silently. ”It's gonna be okay.”

I wanted to open my eyes, but the lids felt like they were glued together.

”Nick?” I ask faintly.

They didn't respond right away, though the grip on my hand tightened.

”Yes... It's me.”

_It's a dream. It has to be. I don't even know him yet. I didn't even get to find him._

I knew something was wrong with the trail of my thoughts. I just couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was. But that's how dreams usually were. You see a duck walking by and wearing a beautiful flower hat and think it's the absolutely normal thing for a duck to do.

”I'm not allowed to have guests in my flat”, I suddenly remembered. ”Did I go to a party last night? Did you bring me home?”

The person next to me changed the hold of my hand so that they could gently rub it with their thumb.

”Everything's fine, Ree. Don't push yourself. Just get some more rest”, their reply was oddly muffled.

Another hand comes up on my face, stroking my forehead and cheek. It feels nice, but the hand is weird. There's no flesh or skin. For a some reason though, I'm not scared of it. It reminds me of something safe.

”Am I sick?”

”Something like that, yes. But don't ya worry. We'll get you better.”

There's like a thick fog in my head. It doesn't let me think straight. I shake my head and manage to make the fog thinner. It's still there and making everything hazy, but I get a small glimpse of clear thoughts.

”Nick”, my voice falters. ”I miss you terribly. John, too. I don't know if I can get out.”

The dream was changing. I wasn't in my room anymore. I was inside the Institute, locked up in the small cell. I now knew it was the usual dream – I'd talk to Nick or John and for a short moment actually would think that I had gotten out and found them.

”You can. You did.” 

Nick tightened his grip again and his other hand stopped on my cheek. Turning my head slightly I nuzzled the metallic palm.

”I'll wake up soon. Then you're gone again. I don't think I can...” I chocked on my words.

”I'm not going anywhere. I'm sitting right here and will be here when you wake up. John's on his way, too.”

”No he isn't. He doesn't know where I am. You don't, either”, anxiety started building up inside me. ”I will wake up and I'll be alone and then they start with the tests again and--”

”Ree”, Nick's stern voice came now right in front of me. He was holding my face. I only saw his outlines, and they were blurry, too. ”Dearest. You're safe. You're not alone. Ya have me. You'll always have me.”

His words relaxed me. I reached up with my right hand, grabbed his jacket and held on to it. He lowered his head so that his forehead softly touched mine.

I felt my fingers come loose and before my hand dropped back on the bed I was washed over by the sea of blackness. This time it wasn't so scary, letting go of the half-conscious dream and just slipping into the dark.

That goes on for Gods know how long, or how many times. I'd dream not being able to tell if I'm actually awake or still dreaming. Until one day I find myself staring at the ceiling. I couldn't recall when I had opened my eyes, just that I was looking up.

The ceiling. It wasn't white anymore, like inside the Institute's vault. It was put together with wooden boards and looked everything but new.

Even turning my head felt like a chore. It was so heavy, and the smallest movement made me dizzy. There was an IV standing next to my bed and on an end table with chipped paint I saw empty syringes of Med-X and Stimpaks.

My vision trailed further and told me I was in a small, one storey cottage, and that there was a man sitting on a chair next to me. Seeing him made my eyes blurry again, this time from tears. The man leaned forward and smiled that lopsided, familiar smile.

”Hi Nick”, I whispered with a tremble.

”Hello, Ree”, he replied and grabbed my hand I had moved closer to him.

”Tell me that I'm awake.”

He gave my hand a squeeze, as to assure his presence.

”You're awake. You've been sick for about two days.”

I didn't have the strength to even cry properly. It was just a flood of tears running down to my ears and my limbs shaking. Nick held on to my hand and gave me a moment to calm down.

”Where's...”

”He should be on his way. I'm not entirely sure where Piper found him, but he knows where we are. He's coming.”

It took me another moment to digest this. I'd be seeing John again. As I was processing all of this Nick continued.

”We're in a settlement called Egret Tours Marina. The guys at the radio station brought you here after sending me a message. You were in a bad shape. You were severely injured and because of the infection your arm was nearly amputated. Luckily it wasn't too late for the Stimpaks to work. Ree... What the hell happened to you?”

Before answering I looked at his hand on mine. I felt it. It was real.

”The Institute”, I opened my mouth and his grip tightened.

I told him everything, from the night we had been celebrating at the Sunshine Tidings with everyone to the day I busted out from the vault with the super mutant called Shield. I told him about Thomas who had turned out to be an Institute courser hunting down synths, and Paul who had his entire memory erased in the hands of Dr. Parker.

Nick listened to my story and asked some questions only after I had finished. His face was stoic as always and even his voice was nothing out of normal, but the way he talked gave away his anxiety.

”I'll have to let the Railroad know about this as soon as possible”, Nick shifted his legs a bit but didn't yet stand up. ”We'll have to assume the Institute will take some precautions since you got away, so they might try to prepare for an attack or relocate the base.”

”They'd move their whole hideout because I escaped?”

”At this point they can't afford to be exposed. They're far more vulnerable than they were before, so a new attack could be the finishing blow. That's also why we have to hurry.”

Even though he said that, he didn't seem too keen on leaving.

”Do you... Where do you have to go?” I asked.

”Not far. An old contact of mine lives nearby. She'll get the word to the Railroad HQ and I'd expect Dez will not waste a second gathering a small army. I'll be back before dark, maybe even sooner.”

”Go”, I smiled wearily and suffocated the pathetic voice inside me which wanted for him to stay longer. ”I'll be all right.”

Nick leaned closer and brushed few sweaty hairs off my forehead. That caused a short flashback of him doing the same thing not too long ago, perhaps when I was still sick and only semiconscious.

”The settlers here are good people. Phyllis will keep you safe and soon enough you're healed enough so we can transfer you to Diamond City and to Curie's clinic.”

”Sounds good to me.”

There was a commotion coming from outside. Nick stood up and we both listened – and my heart jolted like someone had thrusted a shock baton on it. Valentine glanced me and smiled.

”It seems someone else will look after you while I'm gone.”

Nick left the cabin, and I tried to sit up but it was too much to ask. My head started spinning as soon as I was lifting it upright, and I sank back on the straw pillow. I had to catch my breath as if I had just taken a sudden sprint. Wow, I really was in a bad shape.

Valentine had left the door ajar, but soon it swung open. Against the bright daylight I saw a silhouette, standing in the doorway and grabbing the frame. I didn't have to guess who it was.

I wanted to say something mushy, a stupid cliché like  _I think I'm having a Déjà-vu_ , or  _Sorry, took a bit longer than I thought,_ but my throat walled up. Through my tear-filled eyes I saw him striding across the room and the next moment I had his arms closing in around me. His familiar scent was buried under days old sweat and dirt, but it was him.

For a long, long time, he just held me tight and I cried, pressing my face against his crimson jacket. It was dusty, and the dust tickled my nose. His shoulders were shuddering and several times he tightened his grip as if to make sure I was really there.

”John”, I uttered with a stuffy voice.

Finally, he drew himself far enough so that I could see his face. Even for a ghoul he looked withered. He had huge shadows under his eyes, which were burning like black fire.

”Ree”, he called my name.

It was enough. I started crying again, and he pressed his mouth over mine.  
  


...

 

Nick watched as Hancock entered the cabin and bolted inside. The synth detective discreetly grabbed the handle, and shut the door leaving Ree with the mayor of Goodneighbor inside. He then lit a cigarette, and while flipping the lighter open he observed the metal hand holding it. It was steady as ever.

But he was sure that if he'd been a human it would have trembled – maybe so much that he would've had difficulties using the lighter. The human soul or whatever the damn thing should be called inside him was shaking all over.

Today was a good day. Of course, the news about the Institute bastards was alarming, but he had already decided it wasn't going to be his battle. He had been there when the Institute had been destroyed, had been in the middle of it all, but not this time. If he would take part of the attack with the Railroad... He feared he might lose the thread of humanity in him. He would enjoy killing them. Every inch of him wanted to see the Institute doctors lying face-down in a pool of their own blood, and it scared him.

He remembered seeing Ree for the first time after he got to the settlement. Phyllis had showed him inside the cabin where Ree was lying on a bed, with high fever, arm swollen and flickering between unconsciousness and being half-awake. If he had a heart, even a figurative one, it's edges got shattered. He was so happy seeing her again, but she was still escaping his grasp.

Nick sat with her ever since. Sometimes she would open her eyes and talk, but everything she said usually made no sense. Once she did wake up, and they had a short conversation. The whole time she believed it was just a dream, that he was just a thing her mind had conjured, but in the end she had succumbed back to her sleep-like state.

But he had acted without thinking, which was something out of character. He had touched her forehead with his, trying to comfort her in her distress. He had almost--

Some kids ran past him, making a ruckus and Phyllis walked up to him.

” _Watch it, kids_ ”, she barked without any real anger. ”Ya better take those sweets back to where you took' em from! Valentine, was that the mayor I saw just now?”

”Yeah. I can't thank you enough for taking care of her.”

”Don't mention it. She needed help.”

”Still, thank you. Because of her being alive we might be able to prevent a bigger problem. I'll have to step out for a while, but I'm coming back. I'd leave them be for now”, Nick nodded when Phyllis was about to push the cottage door open.

”She needs a new dose of Med-X.”

Nick smiled.

”Give'em five more minutes.”

  
  


 

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Gods I was writing this and listening to [Air Supply's "I Can Wait Forever"](https://youtu.be/D19Br_wOxE4) and I might need a moment because my heart can't take it (in case you're wondering if I'm way too excited about this story the answer is yeah maybe).


End file.
